How To Stop Feeling “Not Enough” | School Of Self-Love

How To Stop Feeling “Not Enough” | School Of Self-Love

Fear is a natural and essential feeling for all human beings that has allowed us to survive and procreate in the past. This survival mechanism works against us, however, because in our modern lives, without any of the dangers we used to face daily in prehistoric times, we are left with the instincts of our ancestors. These ancient emotions tend to manifest themselves in other ways – phobias, paranoia, and anxiety.

Our minds also tend to play tricks on us, making situations seem more distressing than they actually are. It is essential to recognize that our thoughts don’t automatically reflect objective reality. And we must also realize that it is only through the unfamiliar, the unknown, and by taking risks, that we can have new experiences that will lead us to grow, learn and become a better version of ourselves. The winners are those who look past fear and take control of their mind, telling it to quiet down, as they break past the barriers of their comfort zone and ultimately try to do the things that very few people have the courage to do.

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There are so many different fears:

Fear of the unknown
Fear of criticism (judgement)
Fear of the first step
Fear of being alone
Fear of failure
Fear of letting go
Fear of missing out

and plenty more!

Probably the most common fear that I’ve heard people talking about, and one I’ve experienced myself most often is the fear of “not being enough”. We often feel that we are not…

smart enough
pretty enough
strong enough
rich enough
talented enough
popular enough
famous enough
experienced enough
_______(fill in the blank) enough.

Or we might feel we haven’t done enough, worked hard enough, been doing something long enough, the list just goes on. The mind can get pretty creative coming up with ideas to talk you out of doing something big and scary. Historians believe that this is just the way our brains have evolved and the mechanisms were in place to protect us from danger. These fears are just a natural part of this defense system, trying to keep us safe.


Recognizing the fact that it’s not really you that is “not enough”, but just your ego’s self-preservation instinct, you can simply make a choice to disregard that little voice, and move ahead with whatever you need to do to achieve your goals.

I remember hearing that nagging little voice telling me that I wasn’t experienced enough to be coaching and training people to have a winning mindset when I first decided to change my career direction. The conversation in my mind went something like this:

Me: I feel my purpose and calling in life is to start my coaching business!
The voice: What makes you feel qualified to help other people? What kind of training do you have?
Me: I don’t have official training, but I have figured out a way that helped me win in whatever I set my sights on, and I could help other people achieve the same.
The voice: No one will take you seriously if you don’t have an official certificate . What’s your qualification?
Me: Having a piece of paper doesn’t prove that I can be a good trainer. Experience is what matters most!
The voice: And what experience do you have? The problems you’ve had might not be comparable to the problems of other people, and you might not be able to help them.
Me: I’m going to do my best and pass on the knowledge that I have, as I continue to learn.

And so, it went on like this for a while. For every conviction I had, the mind would incessantly come up with something to counter my positive thought with a doubtful or fearful one. The trick is to keep moving despite that voice, silencing it and choosing to believe the empowering thoughts instead.


As you make progress and celebrate small wins along the way, you will start believing in yourself more and more and eventually the voice will lose its power over you. You will learn to disregard it and not acknowledge it anymore. You will also learn to question whether or not what the voice is saying is actually true. By challenging each negative thought with a question “Is that really true?” and looking for evidence to support the facts you want to believe in, you will quickly realize that it’s very easy to disprove and dismiss the limiting belief.

I chose to believe that I am qualified to be a winning-mindset coach, even without an official certification, because I disproved the limiting thought. I remembered that many of the world’s top coaches don’t have a “piece of paper” and they don’t need it to change people’s lives for the better. My personal experience and belief that I’m able to help others IS enough, and that’s my ultimate reality!


“Whatever you choose to believe in, will be your reality.”

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